1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,589
Okay, say the thing again.
2
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,633
Reba, we got it, okay?
3
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:09,884
We know what to do.
4
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,970
Say... the... thing.
5
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,722
[all sigh exasperatedly]
6
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,473
[together] Our family is happy.
7
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,183
We have no problems.
8
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,810
Things are terrific.
9
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,104
Thank you.
10
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:25,859
You know, I don't know why you're so tense
about talking to this counselor.
11
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,611
I mean, five years ago, you were the one
tellin' us we should tell him everything.
12
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:32,407
Five years ago, we got sent
to anger management by the court.
13
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,994
It was supposed to be part of an attempt
to save our marriage.
14
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,204
Nice work, Brock.
15
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:44,627
Mom, remember, this is our last
court-ordered visit. Be nice.
16
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:45,962
Sorry. You're right.
17
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,214
Okay, all we have to do
is get this form signed,
18
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,008
and we never have to come back again.
19
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,135
So, we have no problems?
Everybody's happy?
20
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,052
Oh, wait a minute.
21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:54,929
Where's Barbra Jean?
22
00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:58,600
I didn't tell her.
23
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,437
We're trying to get out of therapy,
not get sent to the loony bin.
24
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,610
You know, I cannot believe
that you wore that shirt
25
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,320
after I told you not to.
26
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,237
Oh, yeah?
27
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,907
Well, maybe I wore this shirt
because you told me not to.
28
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,035
What do you care what I wear?
29
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,453
Because you're my husband, Van.
30
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,122
And if you look like a cowboy goober,
it reflects badly on me.
31
00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:24,751
- Shh.
- It's all about you, isn't it, Cheyenne?
32
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,211
Thanks a lot.
Now I want Goobers.
33
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,337
Shh!
34
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,923
Knock it off, or I'm gonna make you
say the thing again.
35
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,132
[Brock, chuckling] Oh, God.
36
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,928
I'm a grown man, Cheyenne.
I'll wear what I want.
37
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,012
[deep voice] Oh, grown man Van...
38
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,722
[normal voice] But you're still wearing
Spider-Man underwear.
39
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:38,640
Oh, yeah?
40
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,850
Well, your underwear says "Friday" on it,
and it's Wednesday.
41
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:42,644
[laughs]
42
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:44,562
Is there a problem out here?
43
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:45,855
[chuckles nervously] "Problem?"
44
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:46,940
The only problem we have
45
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,650
is trying to figure out
who loves who the most.
46
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:50,819
I think it's me.
47
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,654
[laughs]
48
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,782
All right then.
49
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,325
- Van Montgomery.
- Mmm.
50
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,827
- Would you come in, please?
- Sure.
51
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,666
Okay, before you go in,
say the thing again.
52
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,209
Say it. One more time for me.
Come on.
53
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,127
No.
54
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,712
I've had enough people
telling me what to do today, thank you.
55
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,465
Have fun, urban cow freak.
56
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,759
Hey, wait a minute.
57
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:16,177
I gave him that shirt.
58
00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:20,390
[theme song playing]
59
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,766
[Reba] Hey, hey.
60
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:24,769
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
61
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,147
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
62
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:31,401
♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
63
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,070
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
64
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:36,781
♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
65
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,449
♪ With gentle hands ♪
66
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,368
{\an8}♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪
67
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:47,000
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
68
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,009
Really, Van, you don't
have to lie on the couch.
69
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:57,927
My dogs are tired.
70
00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,515
{\an8}You know what this couch needs?
71
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,808
{\an8}A cup holder.
72
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,518
{\an8}Right there.
73
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:10,565
{\an8}Okay, sit up now.
74
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,904
{\an8}So how would you say you and your wife
are getting along these days?
75
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,572
{\an8}You mean Cheyenne.
76
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,159
{\an8}Fine.
77
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,620
{\an8}I guess fine, for being a married couple.
78
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,163
{\an8}I mean, everyone has their problems.
79
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,665
{\an8}It's not like we fight on a daily basis.
80
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,125
{\an8}Some days I don't even see her.
81
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,710
{\an8}[laughs]
82
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,546
{\an8}Come on, Doc, you're married.
83
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,756
{\an8}Give me some sugar.
84
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:37,717
{\an8}Yeah.
85
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,596
{\an8}So there are problems?
86
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,223
{\an8}Well, yes.
87
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,392
{\an8}It's just that she's so critical and vain.
88
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,103
Hi. I'm Cheyenne.
89
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,188
I'm your queen.
90
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,693
Fine, play your silly little game.
Just help me to the car.
91
00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:56,778
Yeah, but I'm in the middle of a game--
92
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,488
I said help me to the car!
93
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,825
Well, the apartment was
just so boring before.
94
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,535
It didn't make a statement of who you are.
95
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:05,536
And now it does.
96
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,829
Oh, it sure does.
97
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,748
But, unfortunately, that statement is,
98
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,041
[in high-pitched voice] "I'm Cheyenne."
99
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,378
Hello, love of my life.
100
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,129
Hello, tramp.
101
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,633
Oh, she's hot.
102
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,011
I'm hot too.
103
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,098
Hey, Cheyenne, whatcha doin'?
104
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,016
Making a list of insulting names
to call Van
105
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,018
when he gets back from shaving his head.
106
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,104
If you have any interest
in kissing me tonight,
107
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,230
you will not eat those.
108
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,315
I want you to stop vomiting.
109
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,860
If I could control it,
110
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,362
I'd do it on you right now.
111
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,572
My body cannot possibly stretch any more.
112
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:42,615
My ankles are fat.
113
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,950
My back hurts... Van!
114
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,244
Will you please stop
breathing down my neck?
115
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,626
Here's my book:
116
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:56,462
I Married a "Hot" Jerk.
117
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,965
Did you pray that I wouldn't slap you?
118
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:02,802
Why would we pray that?
119
00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:05,013
Ow!
120
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,849
Shut up, Van. Shut up, Van. Shut up, Van.
121
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:12,645
[Van] [muffled voice] Wait a minute.
122
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,439
[Van crying]
123
00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,151
This man is good.
124
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,029
He's good.
125
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:22,864
Van, are you okay?
126
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:23,990
I'm fine. I'm fine.
127
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,618
I just feel like a tremendous weight
has been lifted.
128
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,831
What did you and your stupid shirt say?
129
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,041
You see that, Doc?
130
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,292
You see how she talks to Van?
131
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,710
It makes Van sad.
132
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,715
Okay, Cheyenne, do you wanna be next?
133
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,841
Oh, you bet I do.
134
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,051
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
135
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,177
Why don't I go in
136
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,971
and, and kinda explain
what everybody's gonna say first?
137
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,139
Oh, you'll get your chance.
138
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,515
Yeah, you'll get your chance.
139
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,726
You wanna know how smart she is, Doc?
140
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,728
Take a look at her underwear!
141
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:58,649
That came out wrong.
142
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,443
I meant...
143
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,489
Okay, Cheyenne, this isn't about judging--
144
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,907
Van's a baby, and he's a liar.
145
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,033
- What?
- Oh, yeah.
146
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,578
The only reason we fight
is because he is so immature.
147
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,956
Wow, didn't even make it to the couch.
148
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:14,874
Oh, yeah.
149
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,210
You should hear some of these stories.
150
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,587
He can be such an idiot.
151
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,091
[groans]
152
00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:41,609
Honey, why couldn't you have
waited 30 seconds to eat?
153
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:42,819
Why can't you cook?
154
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,446
- [Reba] Van.
- [Van] What?
155
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:46,656
I'm okay.
156
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,116
That was a close one.
157
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,575
[yelps, grunts]
158
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:53,412
[up tempo music playing]
159
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,352
[objects clattering]
160
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,989
Do you really think that you're gonna
scare someone off with a lightsaber?
161
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,951
I will if I use the Force.
162
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,995
[lightsaber thrumming]
163
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,501
What's it gonna be?
164
00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:42,336
Shave it.
165
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,506
- [clippers whirring]
- Bet you hear this a lot.
166
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,467
My old lady doesn't want me to do it.
167
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,593
- [whirring stops]
- [chuckles]
168
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:50,470
[sighs]
169
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,388
But I mean, it's...
170
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,098
it's my head.
171
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,517
- It should be my decision.
- [clippers whirring]
172
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,102
I just hate when she's mad at me.
173
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,022
[whirring stops]
174
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,398
I don't know.
I don't know.
175
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:03,900
What do you think?
176
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,487
[whirring]
177
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,404
Okay.
178
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,281
Okay. Let's do it.
179
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:25,838
Stop!
180
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,680
- So, Van, what exactly did you say?
- Nothing.
181
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:35,890
I just told a few stories.
182
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:36,807
Oh, Lord, Reba.
183
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,059
The kid's been telling stories.
184
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,062
Hey, Mom.
185
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,480
Hey, Dad.
186
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,524
Hey, best husband ever.
187
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,942
- Oh.
- [Brock] Oh, Lord, Reba!
188
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,068
We are doomed.
189
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:49,237
They're gonna wanna
put us all on medication.
190
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,405
And you can't drink
when you're on medication.
191
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,575
Okay. Just calm down.
192
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,077
So the kids are crazy.
193
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,745
It just makes it that much more important
194
00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,872
that the adults
don't act like they're nuts.
195
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,124
There you are.
196
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:05,670
I cannot believe you guys
did not invite me to therapy.
197
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,633
It's like not inviting a chimp
to a banana factory.
198
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,596
Maybe I will look good in a straitjacket.
199
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,776
Barbra Jean, what are you doin' here?
200
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:31,320
Well, the therapist called me
and asked me to join you.
201
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,948
He said that my perspective was important.
202
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,577
The therapist is an idiot.
203
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,205
And you should avoid therapists
at all costs,
204
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,416
because they have the power
to put you away.
205
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:48,296
If you bothered to watch Dr. Phil, Reba,
206
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,464
you would realize
that they're here to help.
207
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,509
A half hour in an office or a TV studio
208
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:54,927
can fix anyone's life.
209
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,180
Okay.
210
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,098
Who is next?
211
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,808
- Ooh, I am. I am.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
212
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:01,726
Is there a problem?
213
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,102
"Problem?" [chuckles]
214
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,645
No problem at all.
215
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,272
- Go ahead, Barbra Jean.
- Okay.
216
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,025
She's a drinker.
217
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,698
[gasps] Ooh.
218
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,575
University of Texas.
219
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:19,327
You know, my father went there.
220
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,370
My father.
221
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,664
Oh, boy, it's all starting to come up.
222
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,000
Gee, thanks.
223
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,793
Actually, uh, Mrs. Hart, uh,
224
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,212
I can schedule you
for a separate appointment for that.
225
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,131
But for right now,
we're here to talk about your marriage
226
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,507
and your relationship with Reba.
227
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:34,425
I understand.
228
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:37,928
Yes, I am here to talk about Reba.
229
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:40,139
So...
230
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:41,641
Reba.
231
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,479
Oh, boy, it's all starting to come up.
232
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,690
Can I give you a hug?
233
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,817
Not if I was choking
on a piece of sausage.
234
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:55,738
- Give me a boost.
- [chuckles]
235
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,281
Me boost you?
236
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,450
You'd pound me into the ground!
237
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,871
There'd be just this little head
down here in the dirt.
238
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,208
And you're not the boss of me.
239
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,377
I know.
240
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,587
If I was your boss,
we'd be sleeping together by now.
241
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:19,553
Reba, try not to think of it
as you not being in the contest.
242
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,931
Think of it as me saving you
243
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,100
from making a fool of yourself. [chuckles]
244
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,401
Do you have a full-length mirror
in your house?
245
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,488
Ding-dong.
246
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,614
Yes, you are.
247
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,410
[chuckles] Clever.
248
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,745
What would you have said
if I would have said, "knock-knock"?
249
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,247
I would have said, "You're a ding-dong."
250
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,877
Maybe my clever little comments
when you're around are immature,
251
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,422
but that's how I've dealt with this.
252
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:59,760
This hasn't been easy for me, Barbra Jean.
253
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:02,263
Well...
254
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,100
I am very sorry to hear that, Reba.
255
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,017
Okay.
256
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,311
Because, as you could imagine,
257
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,982
it has just been a freakin' picnic for me!
258
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:23,659
You think your clever little comments
are tough for me to handle?
259
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,411
[scoffs]
260
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:28,164
I'm the other woman, Reba.
261
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,208
I'm the Whore of Babylon!
262
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,131
Reba, would you mind coming in?
263
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:44,472
Where's Barbra Jean?
264
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,098
She used the privacy exit.
265
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,600
I sent her to a colleague.
266
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:49,602
Huh.
267
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,562
That Barbra Jean, don't you just love her?
268
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,606
She can't help herself.
269
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:56,066
I mean, she's always
told those tall tales.
270
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,568
I think it's 'cause she's so tall.
271
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:58,527
[chuckles]
272
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:00,946
Sounded pretty realistic to me.
273
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,240
I'm only crazy
'cause she made me that way.
274
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,409
You have no idea what she's really like.
275
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:11,457
♪ Gratia Dei, Maria ♪
276
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:12,625
Break it down, Mary!
277
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:26,430
Yeah!
278
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,015
- Hey!
- [both gasp]
279
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:28,933
Oh.
280
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,227
Barbra Jean, what are you doin'?
281
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,853
No sign of Kyra yet.
282
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:34,813
I'm going back in.
283
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:39,026
[whistling nonchalantly]
284
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:40,653
Brock and I are having another baby!
285
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:43,447
But Brock had a vasectomy.
286
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,032
He's getting it reversed!
287
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,993
Wow. How'd you talk him into that?
288
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,119
He doesn't know yet.
289
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,082
You're completely crazy!
290
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,920
What she's trying to say
is she has a problem
291
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,964
because she is attracted to you.
292
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,967
- Oh, you do smell good.
- I know.
293
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:03,884
[mouthing inaudibly]
294
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,223
Okay, no, I-I see.
295
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,140
Barbra Jean,
296
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,101
I know you love Brock.
297
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,022
Oh, I do.
298
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,024
I really, I really do.
299
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,609
I'm evil. That's all.
300
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:23,612
No, you're going through
something called transference.
301
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:26,782
It's when somebody in your situation
becomes attracted to their therapist.
302
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,701
Even some of the nerdy doctors get it.
303
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,038
So, so I'm not bad?
304
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:34,832
You don't wanna...
305
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:36,750
punish me?
306
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,093
Trust me, no, no.
307
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,094
You're a good person.
308
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,138
But since you're still flirting with me,
309
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,931
I should probably refer you and Brock
to somebody else.
310
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:54,268
So, um, I'll tell Brock
it's because I've taken on too much.
311
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,729
Oh, Doctor, you...
312
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,231
are a wonderful...
313
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,317
wonderful man.
314
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,028
Oh, God.
315
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:15,956
♪ Amazing Grace, how sweet... ♪
316
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,921
She took my gum.
317
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,018
Well... [chuckles]
318
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,561
What do you think?
319
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,729
Is it me?
320
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:40,481
No. It's me.
321
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,277
Wait, let's be perfectly clear.
322
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:46,820
The color is stunning.
323
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:49,239
It's everything else that's freaky!
324
00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:50,532
Oh, now, Reba.
325
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:54,328
No, Brock, of all the freaky things
she's done, this is the freakiest.
326
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,246
Well, I just wanted
to try something different.
327
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:57,581
It's my hair.
328
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,583
The only thing different
is you're underneath it!
329
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:02,795
Hey, you know what? I...
330
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,880
I don't think
it's really all that similar.
331
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,048
Are you kidding?
332
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,925
It's like looking in a carnival mirror!
333
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,719
Reba, just calm down.
334
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,262
I am not gonna calm down.
335
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,140
I don't want her anywhere
near my house or my kids.
336
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,141
She's banned.
337
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,685
Oh, you can't be serious.
338
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,520
I can't trust her judgment anymore.
339
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,230
Who knows what else she's gonna do?
340
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,190
- Worse than banned, she's banished.
- Oh.
341
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,402
Hey, do you think, now that I'm a redhead,
342
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,153
I'm gonna get all fiery
and hot-tempered too?
343
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,196
Oh, that's it!
344
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:32,282
[shouting indistinctly]
345
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,205
All right, listen up...
346
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:39,957
Where is everyone?
347
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,084
Oh, uh, Van and Cheyenne were arguing,
348
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,752
so I made 'em wait out in the parking lot.
349
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:44,670
Oh.
350
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,755
I guess they kept arguing,
'cause the police made 'em go home.
351
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,384
I don't know what the heck
happened to Barbra Jean.
352
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,470
Oh, the doctor referred her to someone
who could give her the proper treatment.
353
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,306
So if the lights start to dim,
we know what's happening.
354
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,394
Okay.
355
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,022
I think I have enough information
to make my recommendation.
356
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,148
Whoa, whoa, wait.
357
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,190
[chuckles]
358
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,275
Don't I get to talk?
359
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:07,901
I don't think that's necessary,
360
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,695
not after talking to your wife
and ex-wife.
361
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,321
No, no, no, that's not fair.
362
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:13,824
Come on, you try being married
to the frying pan
363
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,159
and then to the fire.
364
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,037
Oh, save it, Brock.
365
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,498
You can talk about it at what I'm sure
will be our weekly sessions.
366
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,169
It was my fault for trying
to get the family to act normal.
367
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,754
Actually, this is normal.
368
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,213
What are you, nuts?
369
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,508
Normal families get into arguments.
370
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,135
They don't always get along.
371
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,929
But you've managed to stick together
and talk it out.
372
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:37,639
That's a functioning family.
373
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,433
So we're done?
374
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,602
Yeah, let me just go sign your form,
375
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,062
and you'll be off the hook for good.
376
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,313
Oh, great.
377
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:45,397
Wow.
378
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,316
- It's great, huh?
- Really great.
379
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:52,071
So what exactly were you gonna
talk to him about the frying pan?
380
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,822
Whoa, whoa. Nothing, nothing.
381
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:55,115
- Uh-huh.
- Okay, wow.
382
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:58,327
Just that, you know,
you have this little tendency
383
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,037
to get violent with people.
384
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:02,873
Let's not leave it like this.
Come here.
385
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,083
Yeah?
386
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,376
- [grunts]
- [groans]
387
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,711
- [both] What?
- Ow!
388
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:08,962
[screams]
389
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,757
[groaning]
390
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:12,800
Get over.
391
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:16,470
[Brock grunting]
392
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,471
- Don't you ever stop?
- Ow!
393
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,348
[screeching]
394
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,391
[screeches]
395
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:23,811
That's the stupid...
396
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:27,564
[grunting]
397
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,983
I suppose you want to go back
to the forest now, huh?
398
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,778
Quit making up stories, Brock.
399
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:33,821
Well, you know, it's just...
400
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,623
- [crew member 1 shouting indistinctly]
- Knock, knock.
401
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:45,541
[both] Who's there?
402
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,167
Blooper. That's who's there.
403
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:51,088
Guess what, every...
404
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,720
I have a good worth eck...
405
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,890
I have a good work eckith.
406
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,144
[in Texan accent]
What's wrong with chewin' ass?
407
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,478
[enunciating] Chewin' ice.
408
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,355
Chewin' ice.
409
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:09,982
- [laughing]
- Ice.
410
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,233
- Ice.
- [crew member 2] Chewing ice, not ass.
411
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,484
Ice.
412
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,528
[laughing]
413
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,239
Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones.
414
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:18,740
Why, who knows?
415
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,784
I mean, you did luck out with my carrot.
416
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,581
[crew member 3] She even wrote it down.
417
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,584
So, you don't mind
if I take this and run with it?
418
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,335
No, I don't Barbra Jean.
419
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,254
- Reba, I just wanted to tell you.
- [crew members laughing]
420
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,464
You're one of my favorite friends.
421
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,675
Anyway, gotta run.
422
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:40,804
[Brock] He's not even Chinese.
423
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,389
He just likes messing with me.
424
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,684
[Barbra Jean] All right.
425
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,480
[Reba laughing]
426
00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,486
Relax.
427
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,989
[laughing] Relax.
428
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,576
[Reba laughing]
429
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,795
Now y'all laugh really loud
when I say my line, okay?
430
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:15,297
[audience laughs]
431
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,215
- Okay, ready?
- Not that one.
432
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,300
Not that one.
This one I'm gonna say right now.
433
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,302
[crew member 4] Action, please.
434
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,638
Van, you're six foot four with a baby.
435
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,765
[laughing]
436
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:35,859
[closing theme music playing]
437
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:05,847
{\an8}Acme! [coughing]